The Pendulum

The Pendulum

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Celie. Celie was a cheerful child who enjoyed the company of her friends and family, and enjoyed having a happy life. She would always call her friends on the phone, spend time with them on weekends, and she loved having them in her life. Celie also loved her family very much and would always make sure to keep in close contact with them. She believed in a close-knit family and always wanted to know how everyone was doing, especially since she lived far away from most of them. Celie was always known as a happy person, a kind and caring girl with lots of positive energy to share with all of the people she regularly interacted with. Celie was a ray of sunshine in the dark, cruel world.

As she got older, Celie started to change. She slowly started falling away from all of the people she was close to. She called them less, visited them much less often, and even pushed some of them away deliberately. She did not recognize the change in herself until after she realized many months had gone by since she had last spoken to the closest of her friends and family. Once Celie realized that she was no longer part of their lives, she was too ashamed, too devastated to even make an attempt at mending those relationships.

Celie was alone, except for one relationship... her relationship with Jynx.

Jynx had once loved Celie. He cared for her, made her the center of his world, at least for awhile. Suddenly, Jynx wasn't around as much. He spent a lot more time with his other friends, and he would leave Celie alone in the middle of the night; alone to cry while he had a great time.

"There goes another relationship," thought Celie.

Instead of mending the broken relationships, Celie looked elsewhere for replacements. She thought that perhaps since she was not deserving of forgiveness from those she abandoned, that she would just need to find new friends to take their places. Celie was very lonely and was desperate for something to fill that new void in her life.

Celie lost control of herself quite frequently.

First, she let the world know that she needed a friend. She didn't care that she already had Jynx.

She wanted more than that.

Celie was not able to recognize that her reasons for making these new "friends" were all the wrong ones. Like a millionaire opening his vault for all the world to dig into, Celie opened herself up to the world for whatever the world wanted. Unfortunately, the world is full of very bad people.

First, Celie met Eli. Eli seemed to be a sort of Prince Charming, at first. He was polite, intelligent... a very upstanding gentleman, she thought. Eli told Celie that he wanted to know all about her; she willingly agreed. When Eli looked Celie in the eyes for the very first time, his eyes burned her like fire. Celie's body felt like it had gone up in flames. Eli was not a Prince Charming after all. In fact, he was just the opposite. He wanted Celie to cry, he wanted her to burn, he wanted her to know that she was inadequate, imperfect, not good enough... especially for him.

Celie was heartbroken.

Celie decided it was time to look elsewhere for friends. She thought that maybe she had set her sights too high... that perhaps Eli was right... she was not good enough for his level.

Nolan was very interested in meeting Celie. He thought she was beautiful, and he made certain she knew that. Nolan got a little over-anxious around Celie, however, and it bothered her that he was so easily amused. Despite her loneliness, despite how desperate she was, Celie didn't like it when someone thought more highly of her than she thought of herself. Nolan thought too highly of Celie, wanted more from her than she was willing or ready to give. When Celie tried to walk away from Nolan, he objected.

Nolan was a villain, too.

He followed her around, begged her to change her mind. Celie was scared, so she hid away for a long while. It seemed to work out very well, as she didn't hear from him for a long time, but then one day, he found her. Nolan was very disappointed with Celie and that she ran away from him. He felt that they belonged together and that she should stop hiding. Celie told him that if he didn't stop chasing her, she would cause him great harm. That was when Nolan finally slipped away, leaving Celie alone.

Then Celie met Wes. Wes was very kind and affectionate, a wonderful friend. Celie and Wes talked for hours each day, getting to know each other very well. Celie thought that she had met a perfect friend. Then one day, Wes told Celie that she had to make a choice. He told her that if she didn't surrender herself to him completely, he would not give her what she wanted most - his companionship. Celie loved being someone's friend, but she also did not like being controlled. In desperation, Celie lied. Wes gave her his companionship, only for a short while, until Celie abandoned him just like she abandoned everyone else.

The Elders were Celie's guardians. They tried their very best to keep a close eye on Celie, but she was mischeivous and deceitful, she lied to them too.

The Elders were very displeased when they found out that Celie was giving herself out to the world. They believed in truth and honesty, in self-respect. The Elders believed that Celie was hurting herself by giving herself away. They thought she deserved much better, that she was destroying herself with her rash actions.

Terrified of what the Elders were going to say to her, Celie ran away.

Jynx was there to rescue her, but for all the wrong reasons. Jynx liked to make Celie feel bad about herself. To him, it was a game. Celie was blind, though, especially to Jynx's real intentions.

Celie thought she loved him.

That's when she told him that she wanted to give her very soul to him, and she wanted his in return. He agreed, and Celie thought that it was true love. Little did Celie know, Jynx only wanted to see her cry. He knew that if he agreed to what she wanted, he could easily turn around and change his mind. Jynx looked forward to what pain he was about to cause little Celie.

Jynx betrayed Celie.

He told the Elders where she was, and let them come and find her. The Elders took Celie to a big building, where lots of different people go when they are sad.

Celie was lost.

Big, scary people invaded her brain, invaded her thoughts... made her tell them the truth. Eventually Celie was starting to feel a little bit better, a little less lonely. On the night before Celie was to be released from the big building, she recieved a phone call from Jynx.

Jynx wanted to hurt Celie.

He called her to tell her that he didn't want to be her friend anymore, that he found a new friend named Ren who was going to take her place.

Celie had to pretend like she wasn't sad so the big, scary people would let her go home.

Celie was very good at lying.

It was time for Celie to go home, and she was anxious to get back to her life. She was still very sad about how all of her friends were gone, especially since Jynx had jumped ship as well. She tried to occupy herself with artwork, music, games. Nothing worked perfectly, but she never gave up.

Celie's life changed one day.

A very unexpected gift was given to Celie. It was bright and shiny, beautiful, but at the same time, it was also as black as Jynx's heart. Celie felt sad, scared... excited? Celie was equally as happy about the gift as she was terrified.

The Elders were not pleased.

They wanted Celie to give her gift back, for fear that it would only be a distraction during her recovery process. They feared that the gift would ultimately destroy her.

Celie knew that the Elders were right, but instead of deciding right away, she called Jynx for some help. Jynx knew that since he once loved Celie, and she once loved him, that he too was obligated to decide what to do with the gift. Jynx didn't want the gift around... he wanted Celie to throw it away.

Celie was very protective of her gift, and didn't think she was able to just throw it away like that. The more she thought about it, however, the more she realized that it was going to hurt her in the end.

The Elders helped Celie throw away the gift, but were very unhappy with Celie for taking so long to decide, so they asked her to leave.

Jynx let Celie stay with him for awhile, but he still left her alone most of the time. He didn't truly care about Celie, and didn't care how much he hurt her, as long as he got to be close to her from time to time.

Celie travelled to other worlds when she was alone.

In one of the other worlds, she met a wonderful new friend. His name was Gio. Gio was very perceptive. He knew right away that Celie was broken and needed to be fixed. He showed her all of the beautiful places in his world, showed her how to fly. Hand-in-hand, Celie and Gio flew over the world. He knew her so well in such a short time that Celie barely had to share her feelings anymore.

Gio made Celie smile for the first time in years.

It was Gio who showed Celie that Jynx was a villain. Gio gently carried Celie back to her Elders, tucked her back into her bed. Gio restored the peace in Celie's world.

Celie was caught by surprise when an old friend, Orion, stepped out of the shadows. Celie had always known Orion to be a nice person, someone she very much admired, but she never thought herself to be good enough for his friendship. Orion looked into Celie's eyes in a way that no one else ever had before. He knew about her secret pain, her secret pleasures... he knew her before she could even speak a word to him about herself.

Orion cast a magic spell on Celie, made her feel beautiful, special... made her feel like she belonged in the world. The spell was so strong that Celie let Orion into her life while simultaneously pushing Gio out of it. Gio did not deserve the pain and the abandonment, but Celie knew in her heart that he would be better off with someone more like himself -- a much better person than Celie would ever be.

Orion and Celie were both very sad...

...but it was their companionship that made them happy. When Celie was sad, Orion would cradle her and make the pain go away. When Orion was sad, Celie would hold his face in her hands and kiss his forehead to stop his tears from falling.

Celie and Orion understood each other.

Years went by and their love grew. Celie and Orion were inseparable. They argued often, but only because they were so in-tune with each other's feelings that it sometimes got the best of them.

Celie seemed to be doing much better... for awhile.

Then, the feelings started rushing back to her... the pain, the confusion, the intense and overwhelming sadness. Celie could not identify where the feelings were coming from, nor did she know how to make them go away.

Celie couldn't sleep sometimes. She would stay up until sunrise, doing nothing important, instead of getting the sleep she knew she needed. She would go out often, spending money on things that she did not need. She got very upset when Orion didn't pay attention to her at the exact moments she wanted him to. She confused people she talked to, speaking too quickly for them to understand what she was talking about. Celie was falling apart.

Sometimes Celie would cry for days. She would be so upset that she could barely breathe.

Sometimes Celie's mind would race. She would feel like her mind was moving at 200 miles a minute, so quickly that she couldn't even understand what she was thinking. Her chest would feel fluttery, tingly... and she would feel as if she could run all the way around the world - twice. She felt wonderful... euphoric, even. She would create beautiful artwork, play beautiful music, and she felt as if she knew all the secrets of the universe.

And then, sometimes, she would crash again.

Laying in her bed at night, Celie would clench her fists and wrap her arms tightly around her chest, staring up at the ceiling. It was in her bed that Celie would let all of her emotions out.

The pain was so intense that Celie thought that she was dying.

Inside her, a little monster was trying to tear its way out, clawing at her heart, her chest... pounding on the walls of her skull. Celie wanted more than anything to make the pain stop. She wanted to reach inside herself and snatch the monster out.

Celie knew that once the monster was free, she wouldn't hurt anymore.

But the monster was quick. He took over her whole body, making Celie helpless. She could no longer control her appetite, her actions, her words, her emotions, her appearance. Celie was no longer in control of herself or her life... the monster had taken over everything within her.

Celie was scared.

She confided in her Elders, knowing that they would understand. She also confided in Orion, knowing that he too would try and help her get rid of the monster.



Unfortunately, to this day, Celie's monster is still slowly eating her alive.

Hopefully, someday, she will find a way to scare the monster away forever.